Watch
by Starherd
Summary: One on watch, two not, three points of view. Three short, related fics about how the SHM perceive each other. BEWARE THE YAOI. LozYazooKadaj shipping.
1. First Watch: Kadaj

**Author's Note:** Disclaimer found below.

**Warnings:** This story contains a.) shonen-ai, b.) outright yaoi, and c.) sex involving such. If guys groovin' on guys isn't your thing, turn back now. Oh, and there's also either incest or masturbation, depending on your preferred interpretation of the SHM. ;-)

This chapter is the most explicit, but I feel that the sex is vague enough to only warrant an "R" rating, hence why I'm posting here. If you feel that this is in error, please contact me, and I'll take the story down to repost on a different site. Not gonna bite your head off. :-)

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First Watch: Kadaj

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Most nights, the three of them would work in concert. Find a place to camp, secure the bikes, make a fire, eat, set up the bedrolls. Begin their shifts for the night - instinctively, always in the same order, with Kadaj first - two of them sleeping while the third kept watch.

Most nights.

Some nights were different. Kadaj tried to place just _why_ things happened differently, and the only thing he could come up with was that the more intense the day was, particularly the fighting, the more likely it was that things would be this way.

He sat on an outcrop of rock on the hillside above the dell where they'd made their campsite, hugging his knees to his chest as he scanned the surroundings, and tried not to be distracted. His brothers had barely finished eating this time, perpetually edging closer together until Loz was running his fingers through Yazoo's hair and Yazoo had complained that it was too warm and unzipped his coat a bit. Kadaj had left at that point. He'd had to; they'd have been on him if he'd stayed, and then there'd be nobody to keep watch.

It wasn't warm at all. Not up here. He'd zipped his coat all the way up and the wind still nipped at him, even through the leather.

The wind could be downright unhelpful, at times. Like now, when it was cold and carrying distracting sounds to him from the campsite below. He glanced down at his brothers, the firelight gleaming from leather and skin. Still mostly leather at this point. They curled around each other like yin and yang, the wind bringing him their low, muffled voices.

Perhaps it was the thrill of killing that did this to them. The flavor of blood; feeling the prey's struggles become weak, then cease; the way the eyes became unfocused and dull. The power of taking. Of Ending. Between that thought and the sounds of his brothers, he was beginning to want release himself.

He looked away again. Apart from the warm light below, only the crescent moon gave light to the barren plains. The only sound besides the wind and the voices it carried was that of the blades of plains grasses softly hissing against each other.

There was peace in that emptiness and similarity of sound. Even if his brothers were nowhere near as quiet as the grass.

The sounds changed, Loz's voice suddenly more clear, groaning Yazoo's name loudly enough that anyone else who might be near would know it. Kadaj winced. They had no _sense_ when they were like this - only want. It fell to him alone to face the world and keep them safe while nothing else existed for them but each other.

Yazoo was making those breathless little whimpers that always seemed so incongruous coming from that voice, if not that appearance. He was on his back, his coat only on by one sleeve now, his unclothed arm clawing at Loz's bare shoulders as his brother crouched low between his legs. His voice cut off mid-cry as he arched his back, legs bracing and slipping in the dirt.

Kadaj looked away again. He almost wished that there _was_ something to see in the darkness. Something to distract. Something less beautiful.

Another sharp sound from Yazoo, and Kadaj whipped his head around to look at his brothers again. There was no need. No danger. Only Loz on Yazoo, still as stone, waiting for his brother to tell him to move again and almost visibly trembling with the anticipation. Low voices - they spoke to each other with words that Kadaj didn't understand.

Kadaj's chin dropped to his knees and he stared out at the dark and silver landscape. This was not the viciousness that he associated with sex spurred by death. There were times that he'd barely been able to breathe for the heat of it, the power of feeling one of his brothers squirming beneath him, completely in his thrall the same as prey that fell to him.

This was nothing like. It was slow and comfortable and familiar and... warm. He wasn't sure of the right words to describe it. This was not want. It was _need_.

His eyes strayed to them again, falling to the rhythmic motion of Loz's hips. He was on his knees, driving hard into Yazoo, who'd locked his legs around Loz's waist. The bedrolls had become so displaced and disheveled that each thrust drove Yazoo's shoulders into the rocky ground.

It must hurt. It had to. But that didn't seem to matter.

Kadaj blinked slowly as Loz moaned, curling over Yazoo, both of them breathing hard. They stayed like that for a few long minutes, speaking in low voices again, with Yazoo stroking Loz's hair and shoulders.

And then Yazoo moved again, shifting, slowly pushing Loz onto his back. Kadaj heard him laugh.

They could go on for hours like this, playing off of each other. They were going to be _so_ exhausted tomorrow.

Perhaps it wasn't the power of causing death. Perhaps it was the death itself - the taste of mortality that was otherwise so foreign to them. The knowledge that this existence would change. End.

Perhaps being reminded of that made them want to savor what was here.

He wanted to be with them.

He knew that, when they were done, whichever had more energy left would come to trade places with him, and the other would happily play with him for as long as they could stay awake, if he wanted. It was only necessity that shut him out.

But that wasn't what he wanted. He wanted all three of them together, and safe, and free. It wasn't going to happen until Mother came and made the Planet hers - and even then, things might... be different.

There would never be enough time for them to be _together_.

He didn't know if his brothers even knew that.

It hurt.

It didn't matter. What was, was. If all he could do was watch, and keep the world at bay for a few hours so that his brothers could be together... then that was what he would do. For their sake.

All the same, it would be nice if it would rain. It wouldn't stop Loz and Yazoo - probably wouldn't even slow them down - but at least then he wouldn't have to listen to them.

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**Disclaimer: **Final Fantasy VII, its story, and characters are the property, copyright and trademark of Square Electronic Arts L.L.C., and no ownership or claim on said property, copyright or trademark is made or implied by their use in the work(s) of fan fiction presented here. This fan fiction constitutes a personal comment on the aforesaid properties pursuant to doctrines of fair use and fair comment. This fan fiction is non-commercial, not for sale or profit, and may not be sold or reproduced for commercial purposes.


	2. Second Watch: Yazoo

**Author's Note:** Disclaimer found below.

**Warnings:** This story contains a.) shonen-ai, b.) outright yaoi, and c.) sex involving such. If guys groovin' on guys isn't your thing, turn back now. Oh, and there's also either incest or masturbation, depending on your preferred interpretation of the SHM. ;-)

This part is the second-most-explicit (which is to say, it isn't especially, though there _is_ sex). The thematic differences between this and the first chapter are almost too subtle for me, but they're there, I swear.

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Second Watch: Yazoo

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Yazoo sits by the window and watches, resting his chin on his hand. Outside, the world is as cold and dim and empty as inside - this house has been abandoned for ages. It's raining, and he watches the water drip from the moldy, conical thatched roof onto the windowsill. The drops splash through the glassless window and onto his glove.

He can hear them upstairs - Loz groggily whining that Kadaj is taking all the blankets as though he expects Yazoo to come do something about it, and Kadaj laughing and telling him not to cry. There's some scuffling and thumping, and more insults, and then breathless laughter that can only indicate that one or the other of them has decided that tickling is acceptable retaliation.

The sounds of movement upstairs eventually even out into a regular pattern punctuated by wordless, pleasured voices, and Yazoo smiles. He likes the way that Loz and Kadaj play. The way they enjoy each other.

He likes to see them happy more than... more than anything, really. Even more than killing. Or sex. Those are both good - give rise to feelings of pleasure and power - but he likes it best when his brothers are happy, because that makes him feel _warm_ in a way that nothing else can.

He knows that people have other words for this sort of feeling, but he doesn't care. The world pales in comparison to his brothers. They stand out like flames consuming a black and white photograph, and everything else blurs together into one cold, meaningless fog.

He wouldn't know how to exist without them. There'd be no point. Mother would never want him alone, and he'd never find her alone; only with his brothers together does he have purpose. And when they find Mother...

When they find Mother...

He knows that all will change when they find Mother. He knows that it may mean that they will no longer be together. That they may no longer exist.

He knows that Kadaj is aware of this, too. He's seen Kadaj smiling blankly into thin air when he's listening to Mother, and he's seen Kadaj sit and stare at nothing with his brow furrowed when he's thinking about what might happen. Yazoo knows the difference, even if Loz might not - knows that sometimes, Kadaj is afraid.

So he sits and watches and listens to Loz and Kadaj together, and he smiles. Kadaj is not afraid now, with Loz to distract him. He needs to play as much as he needs to rest.

It makes him feel warm again to know that he's allowing them to be safe and happy, and so the cold of the world is nothing.

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**Disclaimer: **Final Fantasy VII, its story, and characters are the property, copyright and trademark of Square Electronic Arts L.L.C., and no ownership or claim on said property, copyright or trademark is made or implied by their use in the work(s) of fan fiction presented here. This fan fiction constitutes a personal comment on the aforesaid properties pursuant to doctrines of fair use and fair comment. This fan fiction is non-commercial, not for sale or profit, and may not be sold or reproduced for commercial purposes.


	3. Third Watch: Loz

**Author's Note:** Disclaimer found below.

**Warnings:** This story contains a.) shonen-ai, b.) outright yaoi, and c.) sex involving such. If guys groovin' on guys isn't your thing, turn back now. Oh, and there's also either incest or masturbation, depending on your preferred interpretation of the SHM. ;-)

This chapter is the least explicit - there's no sex at all! XD

Just a little cuddly shonen-ai.

This was the first chapter of this fic that I wrote, and it was written for Lightbulby, who (at the time) wanted something snuggly and non-sexual. :-)

(Yes, she's resulted in a lot of inspiration for me.)

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Third Watch: Loz

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While he's on watch, Loz tends to get bored. Sometimes, when he's sure it's safe and being on watch is just a formality, he allows his mind to wander. He often thinks of his brothers.

He thinks of Kadaj, and the light in his eyes and excitement in his voice, and the way he arches and smiles when hands run down his back.

He thinks of Yazoo, and the grace of his movements and the heat of his touch, and the way he shivers and sighs when hands smooth over the curve of his hip.

He thinks of how much fun it would be to forget about watch and go wake his brothers and play for a little while. But he won't.

When the sky begins to brighten, he goes to them, and looks down at them lying on the bed. Yazoo wraps around Kadaj more securely than the blankets, and Kadaj snuggles close to him, head against his chest, young and fragile in sleep.

Loz watches them as he undresses, listens to their soft breathing. As the sun rises, but before its light disturbs his brothers, he crawls under the blankets with them and draws close, one arm crossing over Kadaj to rest on Yazoo's side. In their sleep, Yazoo smiles, and Kadaj shifts and snuggles close.

And this is why Loz watches.

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**Disclaimer: **Final Fantasy VII, its story, and characters are the property, copyright and trademark of Square Electronic Arts L.L.C., and no ownership or claim on said property, copyright or trademark is made or implied by their use in the work(s) of fan fiction presented here. This fan fiction constitutes a personal comment on the aforesaid properties pursuant to doctrines of fair use and fair comment. This fan fiction is non-commercial, not for sale or profit, and may not be sold or reproduced for commercial purposes.


End file.
